Do you know the phrase “I’m my own worst enemy?” Well sometimes in dating, it holds true. Sometimes we just can’t seem to get out of our own way and we are the Relationship Red Flags we’ve been warned about. 🤦🏼♀️
Yes, Hi, We Are The Problem.
But the best thing about being the problem is that we are also the solution! Here are the ways you are your own relationship red flags based on your zodiac. Oh and don’t forget to peruse your partner’s too, it might bring a little bit of clarity to some of your relationship’s roadblocks and how to navigate them.
The Relationship Red Flags You Didn’t Even Know You Had!
Nobody’s perfect. We aren’t meant to be! We all come here with certain aspects we want to work out, gifts we want to use, and obstacles we want to overcome. If we follow the wheel of karma, in fact, we are supposed to take a turn in every sign of the zodiac.
This means absolutely no shade to any sign, we all have stuff we are supposed to work out. So check out the list below to see what relationship red flags you might be unconsciously bringing to the table, and how to work with them to improve your life and your relationships!
(P.S. Don’t Forget To Check Out The Cuffing Season Compatibility Guide For Even More Juicy Zodiac Compatibility Info!)
Aries
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Tactless
- 🚩Self Centered
- 🚩Reactive
- 🏁 Assertive
- 🏁Independent
- 🏁 Intense
Aries:
If you are an Aries you know it. Not only do you know it but probably everyone else in the room does too. The first sign of the Zodiac, a born leader and fiery to the core, Aries are incredible solo adventurers. Relationships can be a bit of a struggle for someone so independently-minded, as charting your own course can be tough when you have someone else’s feelings to consider.
Tip* If they can come around to the idea that the relationship is a cause worth fighting for, it will gain their attention and endless dedication.
Key Takeaways
The word “tact” is often not even in the Aries vocabulary. They are quick to tell people(especially their partners) what they think and how they feel. They are the friend who tells you the dress doesn’t fit well or the partner who demands you to do your share of the housework.
Not one to shy from conflict sometimes they can be a little too harsh or direct in their delivery.
They can also be quick to react or fire off in general if something displeases them. Basically, they are intense. But they are supposed to be! They are the great initiators, the first of the Zodiac, the bringer of change and creation. That means they need a little fire.
They just have to be sure to direct all that beautiful intensity in the right direction, towards their passions and pursuits, not people. As the leader they can tend towards tunnel vision of their goals, they aren’t selfish, they just don’t always see others’ needs(yes there is an energetic difference.) Yet that high level of independence is something of great value in partnership, they just have to learn to tweak their vision to include their partner on their path to glory.
Taurus
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Comfort Zone Cruiser
- 🚩Stubborn
- 🚩Status Quo Settler
- 🏁 Home Creator
- 🏁Boundaries Master
- 🏁Stable
Taurus:
Taurus is the great lover of luxury, an Earth sign ruled by Venus they are all about the sensual pleasures the Earth plane has to offer. They love naps, cozy couches, and fuzzy blankets. They love luxury in all its forms and giving up that sense of comfort can be a real challenge for them. Growth can be moved to the back burner in preference of stability. Which is all well and good but relationships(and life) don’t often operate in a bubble.
Stagnant energy can suffocate change and pretending something is fine, doesn’t mean it actually is. Learning to embrace change outside of their comfort zone, is pure magic.
Key Takeaways
Nothing feels better to a grounded Taurus than a cozy comfort zone. Whether it’s a home base, a familiar friend group, or a long-lasting partnership they are happy to stay right where they are thank you very much. Unfortunately, change and growth do not often happen in our comfort zones. Learning how to not only allow but welcome and embrace change is huge for them.
They just need to keep in mind that sometimes a spring cleaning is needed. It‘s ok to get rid of things that no longer serve to make room for new things that do.
Another struggle they face is that they are not considered the sign of the bull for nothing! When this earth sign digs its heels in, it’s going nowhere. Which is an unfortunate stance to take, especially if they are wrong. Shutting down completely is a surefire way to shut off communication and ensure a standoff where nobody wins.
Yet the fact Taurus knows how to put their foot down is actually a very positive thing when holding boundaries. So standing for what is truly important to them as an individual and within a relationship is a great way to use their powers of stubborn persuasion for good.
Gemini
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Flaky/Fast Moving
- 🚩Two Faced
- 🚩Overthinker
- 🏁 Vivacious
- 🏁Multi Faceted
- 🏁Examiner of All Possibilities
Gemini:
Gemini is the Mercury-ruled air sign that never sleeps. Always on the move pursuing new ideas, places, and sometimes people. They can change their minds at a moment’s notice and switch opinions at the drop of a dime. So keeping up with them can be a bit of a challenge, in fact, in a relationship setting, few signs are up to the task. A lot of Gemini’s work is holding multiple perspectives and viewpoints without acting on impulse. Allowing the information to seep in and process so they can create a positive decision for their lives.
In fact, their fast moving nature is part of their charm. They are fun, flirty and gregarious, finding a love of life and interest in a variety of things.
Key Takeaways
Gemini’s attention flows where the breeze of their interest blows. They can jump from one thing to another and even one person to another, depending on what interests them that day. That means they can be perceived as “flaky”, often canceling or forgetting about plans or even people! They can be the ultimate relationship jumpers, being very excited about someone one day and completely losing interest the next. What can they say, it’s just how they roll.
Part of this power is learning to surround themselves with people who enjoy these qualities. If they find people who hold their interest, their desire to roam can actually lessen as far as relationships. They also can begin to include people in their pursuits instead of leaving them behind.
The “Gemini flip” is notorious(especially in the dating community. They can change their mind on a dime. Yet that is part of their multi-faceted, multi-dimensional nature. They can see things from all sides, the work is learning how to hold space for all of that without acting impulsively on it. To avoid the “Gemini spin” of overthinking, they simply have to hold their center, understanding all thoughts do not require immediate action.
Cancer
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Codependent
- 🚩Clingy
- 🚩Emotional
- 🏁 Considerate
- 🏁 Nurturing
- 🏁Empathic
Cancer:
Cancer is a water sign that often represents the archetype of the mother. Nurturing and kind they can be considerate to a fault, often finding it difficult to hold independence or a sense of self in relationships. Yet if you are looking to create a sense of love, comfort, home, and family, a Cancer sign is your person. Once they learn to give themselves the same sense of caring and consideration they so readily give others, they see their lives and loves begin to blossom.
Key Takeaways
Is it Cancer’s fault that they love someone so much they completely absorb, depend on, and identify by them? Yes. Yes it is. That is where most of Cancer’s work lives. Think of it like an over-involved mother, there has to be a line somewhere or the other person begins to feel suffocated and depended upon. Not a good look. Yet on the flip side of that, what makes a good mother? Caring and consideration. Which Cancer has in spades. They just have to be sure that they focus some of that energy on themselves, they deserve it too.
When they heap all of that nurturing, attentive, caring energy on themselves and their own lives, they truly see the magic happen.
That also helps them ward off the “walking wounded” archetype they often draw in. You know, the people who are fine taking without giving in return. If a Cancer has arranged their life just so, they won’t take kindly to someone coming in and messing it up or sucking them energetically dry. They also won’t depend on others so much to fill their cup, they can do it themselves.
Cancer as a water sign tends to wade well in the world of emotions. They just have to be cautious they don’t stay there. They are the ones who will bore their friends to tears by rehashing something hurtful a partner said 5 years ago. Or will elongate arguments with their partner by doing the same thing.Learning to let go of the past, take the lessons, and move on is big for them.
Leo
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Egoic
- 🚩Attention Monger
- 🚩Demanding
- 🏁Self Assured
- 🏁Confident
- 🏁In Authority
Leo:
Oh, great Leo, lover of the spotlight! Leo’s are large and in charge and while that can launch them high in their careers, being the solo act doesn’t always work well in a relationship setting. “My way or the highway” is tough when there is more than one person’s opinion on the table and more than one person’s well-being at stake. Learning to share the spotlight is one of Leo’s greatest challenges but one they can easily master with the right mindset.
Key Takeaways
We get it, Leo’s are pretty awesome but does it have to be all about them? They say yes, we say–sometimes. Leo’s can have a high level of confidence that can present as ego, or attention-hogging if they are not in control of it. Being the center of attention because of a skill or passion is great, being the center of attention for attention’s sake can actually point to the opposite. It can point to a deep-seated insecurity, a fear of what not being in the spotlight will bring, and what people would actually think of them if they weren’t surrounded by accomplishments and accolades.
Not only is that a dangerous way to live, but it can affect their partner too. If that need to be seen rubs off in their relationships it can come across as pushing a partner to perfection, or needing for the relationship to appear perfect, even if it isn’t.
For Leo’s finding the true meaning of success and self-worth can help alleviate some of these wounded ego symptoms, allowing them to make space in their lives and spotlight for others, especially their partner. It allows the pressure valve of perfection to be released and lets everyone show up just as they are. Which is pretty perfect in my opinion.
Virgo
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Rule Follower
- 🚩Rigid
- 🚩Bossy
- 🏁 Fair
- 🏁Disciplined
- 🏁 Caring
Virgo:
Virgo’s just want to get it right–and they want you to get it right too. If you can’t get it right on your own then they will just do it for you. And then complain about how they have to do everything.
Yes, the earth sign of Virgo is not always the easiest sign in the Zodiac to please, yet they are one of the most succesful signs, for this same reason. It’s a heavy cross to bear, to be the only one who seems to know how everything needs to be done. Yet here’s the catch, their way isn’t the only way, and it’s not even necessarily the right way. Woah. I know. Stand back because they might blow. But truly, if a Virgo can begin to incorporate other people’s viewpoints and measures of success into their worldview, the pressure eases and their life and relationships seem to open up.
Key Takeaway
Virgo’s may be close adherents to the rules and regulations but that’s only because they like things just so. They enjoy things to be regulated and fair, rules usually ensure that happens. That’s why they make excellent lawyers and can make excellent partners. They are very loyal and generally strive to adhere to the rules of relationships and commitments. They want everyone to get their fair share in the relationship which can include time, money, and even housework.
They may stick to schedules, which can appear rigid but that is actually part of their power of manifestation. It is like someone who is dedicated to going to the gym or studying for a course. They are usually the most in shape and get the highest grades in the class. Daily actions lead to long-term success and Virgo understands that in spades.
Yet, there can be too much of a good thing. Virgo needs to leave space for the unknown, the spontaneous, and the emotional. Love is not always logical and romance is known to break barriers. So learning to stay strong where it counts but loosen the reins where it doesn’t, ensures their relationships don’t turn into business partnerships.
Libra
Relationship Red Flags(and Positives!)
- 🚩Avoidant
- 🚩Indecisive
- 🚩Doormat
- 🏁Peacemaker
- 🏁Informed
- 🏁Balanced
Libra:
The Libra Lovechild’s are certainly lovers, not fighters. If it was up to them all would be well, quiet, and peaceful. Yet unfortunately for them, chaos, conflict, and disorder sometimes rule the day on this planet of ours. Unlike their fiery Zodiac cousin Aries, they much prefer to keep things nice and calm. So when conflict arises in relationships, they are often found sidestepping the drama as much as possible.
Which is a shame because equitable distribution is a talent of theirs. When they put their powers to good use, they can make excellent lawyers for this reason.
They thrive on fairness and justice and thankfully that often spills over into their relationships. Yet understanding the secret to true peace is one of their biggest life lessons.
Key Takeaways
Peace at any price is not real peace. That in a nutshell can sum up most of the Libra’s work. As the sign of the scales they are very interested in achieving balance, but unfortunately, especially in relationships, they can seek to put someone else into balance first and then arrange their needs around that. They can avoid conflicts by putting their own needs last or agreeing to things simply for the sake of avoiding an argument. Yet that dear friends, is not real peace or true balance. It can cause them to feel like doormats which can later lead to blowups or breakdowns.
As the sign of relationships, they can also put the needs of a relationship above their own individual ones, which again is a recipe for disaster in the long run. Finding their own balance and sense of self first and then weighing the relationship or a partner’s needs accordingly around those, can help them find the peace they so desperately seek.
Scorpio
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Vengeful
- 🚩Jealous
- 🚩Intense
- 🏁 Loyal
- 🏁 Committed
- 🏁Intense
Scorpio:
Scorpio, the sign of the scorpion, is known for its intensity. As a Scorpio moon, I see no problem here. So what, we want to suck your soul and make you sign a blood oath to be with us for all eternity? I don’t see why that’s a “fault” or why some people find that “too much.” Just kidding. We can be a lot.
But that’s also part of a Scorpio’s superpower. That intensity is what allows them to wade deep into the depths of emotion, the subconscious, and the shadow. All the places where our deepest fears and insecurities lie are where Scorpio finds its playground. That being said, that vibe is not for everyone. Especially the whole revenge plots and jealousy tantrums, not a good look. Yet there are plenty of ways Scorpio can turn those traits into triumphs.
Love us, hate us, just don’t ignore us. Scorpio loves the shadows but hates the corners of other people’s affections.
Key Takeaways
Betrayal can also bring out some of Scorpio’s darker qualities and stinger-laced nature. Yet behind all of those revenge plots lies true loyalty. They are so hurt by betrayal because they themselves are so unendingly loyal. Scorpios make passionate, dedicated partners, willing to stick around through thick or thin. They are the stuff romance novels are made of, and occasionally horror ones too.
The kryptonite to Scorpio’s vengeful nature is forgiveness. Learning forgiveness is a huge lesson for them. Also recognizing that they have special requirements of a relationship that some signs just won’t fit.
Their intense nature can be a lot for some of the more earth elements or intellectual signs, and even other water signs can find them a bit turbulent. The key for them is really finding the right fit, learning coping mechanisms for high-octane emotions, and learning to trust and forgive, even if that doesn’t mean including someone back in their life.
Sagittarius
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Flaky
- 🚩Irresponsible
- 🚩Flighty
- 🏁 Passion Driven
- 🏁Heart Oriented
- 🏁Born Traveller
Sagittarius:
Sagittarius is the definition of a free spirit. All about expansion, growth, and exploring new concepts, people places, and things. Although they are a fire sign they often hold a close relationship with nature and are far more bound by its cyclical nature than the modern man’s concept of time. Which can be a bit of a struggle in highly structured scenarios or relationship constraints.
Their passion-driven nature can give them the bad rep of being flaky or flighty, but they simply march to the beat of their own heart. Besides, as they are ruled by Jupiter the sign of luck and good fortune, we can’t help but love them and their generally happy-go-lucky nature.
Key Takeaways
The sweet and spicy Sag can get a bad rep in the dating community. They can go by the way of the feisty Gemini and gain the reputation of being “flighty” or even “flaky.” Yet the fast-moving and fiery, Sag moves through the world led by their passions. It’s an honorable pursuit, unfortunately, their passions can change quite often which can leave behind people, places, jobs, and other fixtures of their world. They can struggle with long-term commitment, simply because their passions and pursuits can change. One week they can find themselves at a yoga retreat in Bali, the next in a business meeting in Washington D.C. They like to travel and expand their horizons, their heartbeat is all about elevation and expansion.
Yet these pursuits of the heart sometimes do not bend to the constructs of time. They are notoriously late if they bother to show up at all.
Yet some of their work is understanding while expansion is a worthy pursuit, sometimes they need to keep one foot in stability.
Leaving behind too many things can hurt their pursuit of future goals and can cost them friends, relationships, apartments, and jobs. Learning how to keep one foot on the ground, communicate their needs effectively, and be sure they are leaving situations gracefully, can all help them move through the world at a more sustainable rate.
Capricorn
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Judgemental
- 🚩Harsh/Cold
- 🚩Demanding
- 🏁High Standards
- 🏁Lesson Oriented
- 🏁Hard Working
Capricorn:
Capricorn is an earth sign ruled by the planet of lessons, Saturn and I’ll be honest–I have heard more than one Capricorn labeled “The Ice Queen.” I’m sorry, I’m sorry but it’s true, I’ve heard it tossed around on more than one occasion. Poor Capricorn, you’re just so misunderstood! Must you be persecuted for your drive for perfection? You just want people to succeed! *Sigh*, I know. Yet here are some ways you can loosen the reigns without lowering your standards.
Key Takeaways
Capricorn’s drive to succeed is like no other. One of the hardest workers in the Zodiac they are likely to hustle until they drop. Yet all of that drive can backfire if they don’t stop along the way to smell the roses, to take notice of the things that are truly important in their life. They are likely to hit retirement and look around and realize their relationships are in shambles and they have no idea who they are outside of their jobs! Yikes! So to avoid this unfortunate fate, they simply have to tune in a little to the now.
Capricorn’s really zero in on the lessons of experiences, they are Saturn ruled, they can’t help it! Yet emotions hold information as well, so it’s important to hold space for them.
Tuning into their own emotions is a big part of their life work too. Relationships do not thrive under harsh criticism and romance isn’t accomplished by a to-do list.
Take time off from the rat race to really tune into your own emotional experience, dear Capricorn, and find the value in that aspect of humanity as well. Also, allow others to have their own emotional experience, it isn’t yours to dictate or control. Your magic is helping dig out the lessons but be sure to do so at others’ pace as well.
Aquarius
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
- 🚩Avoidant
- 🚩Unfeeling
- 🚩Analytical
- 🏁Drama Free
- 🏁Logical
- 🏁Innovative
Aquarius:
Talk about marching to its own drummer, Aquarius marches to its own band, that sings in code, in a foreign language invented in space, playing on instruments made by an Aquarius. Basically, they do things a little bit differently. They are an air sign that is exceptional at creating new concepts, spreading information, and innovating whole new systems. Although all of that airy logic and intelligence doesn’t always translate into emotions or intimate relationships. Think of Albert Einstein, a genius–yes; a Casanova–no. Aquarius are incredibly intelligent if not a little off the beaten path.
Key Takeaways
Here on earth, we have social constructs, and one of those is intimate partnerships. That means they deserve at least a little of your attention. It’s easy for Aquarius to get so caught up in their work or mission that they forget that partnerships are important. Due to their airy logic, they can come across as unfeeling or analytical. Yet their sense of innovation is something they can also use in their relationships. They can find solutions to obstacles that others may not even see. They are true visionaries who can find paths and systems where others only see blocks. Basically, when they put their mind to it, they are most likely going to be successful, including in the realm of relationships.
They can tend heavily toward avoidance, not wanting to face issues head-on, and certainly not interested in conflict.
Yet conflict is part of relationships, and life. Ignoring emotions especially in others does not make them go away and ignoring problems usually only makes them bigger.
Learning to develop emotional depth and conflict skills is a huge part of Aquarius’ life lessons. Yet their avoidance usually makes them refreshingly drama-free, until something that’s been shoved down bubbles up of course. But if they can learn to address things before they get to that point, they can have a much smoother ride in life and love.
Pisces
Relationship Red Flags(And Positives!)
🚩Unrealistic- 🚩Spacy
- 🚩Overly Sensitive
- 🏁 Visionary
- 🏁Dreamer
- 🏁 Highly Intuitive
Pisces:
Pisces, the mysterious and deep water sign, is the sign symbolizing the psychic. They are incredibly intuitive, empathic, and sensitive to the energetics of others and environments. They are often called unrealistic yet they are the visionaries of the Zodiac, they can see opportunities before others can even conceptualize their existence.
Their dream worlds are far more interesting than the banal existence of the day-to-day, so who can blame them for wanting to stay in them? Yet that can often lead to avoidance, and an inability to materialize things in the physical realm. Learning how to utilize their gifts in order to be succesful on the earth plane is a big life lesson for them.
Key Takeaways
It’s not easy holding the world’s vision in your mind’s eye, it can be a lonely pursuit to convince others of something you see that they can’t even conceptualize. Yet understanding how the Pisces mind works is the key to unlocking its gifts.
Think of Pisces as the ultimate artist.
An artist sees the complete vision of what they want to paint in their mind before they even pick up a brush. Then they work to bring it to life in the physical. Yet if they tried to explain what was in their mind’s eye to someone before they painted it, the person most likely would not understand. That’s how Pisces lives day in and day out. Therefore they often come across as unrealistic or dreamy. Yet they are true visionaries, sometimes they just have to get better about the mundane details of physical manifestation.
Learning to “row their own canoe” so to speak in the physical realm, can help them avoid these pitfalls. Becoming independent and learning how to ritualize or give importance to the banal behaviors like paying bills, updating their license, etc. can help them not only survive in the physical world but thrive here too. It can actually help them manifest more of their big dreams. Also using their intuition to truly see others as they are now, not their ultimate potential can help them stay out of toxic relationships or addictions.
Find Your Best Zodiac Compatibility
Learning to pair partnerships based on zodiac compatibility is incredibly intuitive and can be simple or quite complex. The blending of differing energetics, values, missions, goals, and more can make for a bumpy ride when trying to chart it all out. The best advice I can give is to feel it out. If it works for you, it works! The more you work on your own individual “red flags” the more you will be able to thrive within a relationship. We cannot control others or their behavior, but we can learn to work with our own energetics as well as our strengths and pitfalls in order to create the lives and loves of our dreams!
